i just wanna soil my oats bro
I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
We have so much sex to catch up on
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
I currently don't understand fingers.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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