I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
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