wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
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