I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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