Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
