I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Randomize
