My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
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