Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
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