i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
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Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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