HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
