Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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