summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
