I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
This house was built for laser tag.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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