She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize
