Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
im about as happy as oj after his trial
found the other keg... it's in the tree
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
Is it penis luge time yet?
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
