just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Randomize
