just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize