i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Randomize
