It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Randomize
