What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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