She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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