Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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