im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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