Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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