we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize