Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
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