shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
I cockslap morals
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
