just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Randomize
