Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
