I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Randomize