my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
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