wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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