how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
Randomize
