Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
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