Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
i need some magic done to my vagina
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
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