I'm pants shitting drunk right now
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
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