I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
Randomize
