Sry I called you an 8
I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
