omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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