he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
i used baking grease as lip gloss
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
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