the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
do nipples grow back?
Randomize