she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
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Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
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He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
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