I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
