so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
