Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
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