Quick, to the slutcave!
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
Randomize