Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
If its not for food we ain't going out.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
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