Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Randomize
