I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
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