Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
