Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
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