no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Randomize
