she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Randomize