yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
Randomize