pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Randomize
