if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
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