I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize