she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
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