i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
