Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
